Kindergarten Eve

I'm a blog failure.  It's been so long since I blogged, I couldn't even remember how to log in.  Time is something I can't seem to find much of these days.  There are days my kitchen stays a mess (shhh, don't tell my mother), because I find more value in eating, sleeping and showering than a clean kitchen.  There's few events that can bring me to the keyboard and out of my blogging hiatus, but kindergarten is one.... a major one.

I know, I'm ridiculous.  Over the past few years, I have thought new kindergarten moms were insane.  I thought to myself (and occasionally out loud), "What an idiot, why are you crying?  You should be thrilled to have five days a week to yourself (well, at least with one less child)."  Let me just say, lesson learned.  For me, this falls into that category of "you don't understand it, until you get there" or "don't knock it until you've tried it" or even "I told you so".  I'm officially "that mom", yes, here I am.  You are welcome to laugh and judge. :)  One day, I'll look back and laugh at myself too.

I've explained before, that I'm not a crier.  This event hasn't cracked me yet, but it might.  Tonight, a mere 12 hours before we drop him off and make him a true kindergartner, my stomach is in knots.  I have actual, true nerves for him.  Maybe it's all compounded by not being able to share those nerves with him.  To him, I'm happy, cheerleader mom explaining all the wonderful, fun things they will learn and play.  It's an odd feeling. 

His new teacher is fabulous.  I've decided kindergarten teachers have a special place in heaven for dealing with all us nutty parents and for doing it with such grace and ease.  They not only calm the nerves of 20+ kindergartners, but 40+ parents.  Good people, I tell you, good people.

Maybe the hardest part of it all, is that this is one of the first times I have to let go.  It seems parenting is a series of "letting go" {and letting God}.  Each time you are forced to "let go", your parenting is put to the test.  All I can do with each of these rungs on the ladder is hope that we did our best and that our kids will swim (or at least float) and not sink .  Tomorrow, and the year to follow, is our first buoyancy test.

From now, until the next post, say a prayer for me (and the millions of other first-timers out there), we all appreciate it!